I always wanted to be a mother. When I found out I was pregnant, we decided not to find out what we were having. My life turned upside down shortly after when her father and I decided to divorce. I was so scared the stress I was going through was affecting this baby that every night when I laid down for bed, I would play music to this baby. The music made me feel that whatever I was going through emotionally would soothe the baby.
All I cared about was that the baby was healthy…when my doctor announced it was a girl, I cried tears of joy! Later holding my daughter, I told her “no matter what ever happens, I will protect you and love you unconditionally.”
She has moments of pure joy and innocence. Her laughter is contagious, makes me laugh and puts me in the best mood. The things that she already knows and says, some days shock me! Her personality is already forming and I see the future with her and I, thick as thieves or like the Ali/Frazier boxing match. Ha Ha
I will admit though, she scares me to death. I don’t want to screw her up…I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did. I never want her to question her value, her feelings, or her opinions. I want her to have a good head on her shoulders; to make good choices; for her to grow up happy; to find her passion and true love. I want her to know that every day, every choice and everything I did was for her!
On this Mother’s Day, I am ever grateful for my daughter Savanna. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.